Andy Finally Watches (and Ryan finally posts)… Harry Potter V

Ladies and Gentlemen, and those reading over your shoulder, it has been a while, but that is due to mine host forgetting he had a website to maintain. Well, now he has finally woken up and general ramblingness can be resumed, so without further ado……


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Dark Phoenix? So where’s Wolverine?

Film 5 sees the Ministry of Magic denying that the Dark Lord has returned which means poor Harry is rather unpopular in the magical world. Only his trusty sidekicks and a few elders believe him but after the appointment of a Ministry official as the, yet another, new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher in the form of Dolores Umbridge, Harry starts to gather some believers. This is mainly due to cowbag Umbridge’s refusal to teach practical magic and her somewhat controversial punishment techniques. When she is given more power and starts installing strict and unreasonable rules, this is the final straw and some of the students revolt and form a secret group called Dumbledore’s Army, led by our Harry. But trouble arises when they Slytherin students side with Umbridge to try and reveal the secret gang. And Voldemort has returned to power to seek the prophecy that will reveal why he couldn’t kill Harry all those years ago. Will Umbridge find their secret hidey hole? Will Dumbledore’s Army be strong enough to fight Voldemort and his followers when the time comes? Will someone punch Umbridge for me? And did you know, Mad Eye Moody is played by the same guy who was Hamish, Wallace’s number 2, in Braveheart?

The films title refers to a group of individuals including Harry’s parents and the good prof Dumbledore, who set up a secret group to defend against Voldemort and his followers the first time he came to power. I’m no genius but I reckon that’s where Harry and Co might have got the idea from. Harry has been through the mill a wee bit in his first few years as a wizard and has developed a good arsenal of defensive spells, therefore he can teach even the dunderheid Neville Longbottom to carry out a spell.

TOOTP also sees our Harry have his first kiss, go on son!!! It also sees Harry toil with his connection to Voldemort and ponder whether he is becoming a wee bit dark himself.

Star of the show for me is Evanna Lynch as the wonderfully eccentric Luna Lovegood. She is what one would describe as weird, but her ability to not care about the opinion of others, is a lesson we can all learn from. Other standouts are the appearance of Mrs Tim Burton as the despicable Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix is probably Voldemorts most faithful follower, who has been in Azkaban since his previous demise, but gets free to wreak havoc. And havoc she does indeed wreak.

"He finally got around to publishing Andy's review!"

“He finally got around to publishing Andy’s review!”

Overall TOOTP is a rip roaring belter of a film and signals the start of a dark journey that leads to the final battle in the eighth film. I can assure you there is a few twists and turns along the way, a fine few of which will be in the next film.

If this review seems a bit vague then I’m attributing it to the boxing term of ring rust, I shall try and shake it off and over indulge you all with nonsense next time round.

Till then, peace out.


Go ahead, punk. Make my day.

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