5-Word 365 #354 – Mixed Nuts

I wish it could be Christmas every day, but not if it meant I ever had to watch this crap again.

Mixed Nutsmixed-nuts-poster

This film is a bastard.

It is Christmas Eve in Los Angeles. Technically, I suppose it’s Christmas Eve almost everywhere, but since this story takes place in Los Angeles, we’ll just stick with that. Philip and Catherine, the two volunteers manning the SOS Friendship suicide helpline, are settling in for the night shift, only to caught up in what wants to be an ever-escalating cascade of classic farce as their office is invaded by a heavily pregnant lunatic, a gun-toting Santa Claus, a depressed transvestite and the odd neighbour with his even odder ukulele songs. And the landlord; mustn’t forget him.

Wow, this seems familiar, doesn’t it? I didn’t even realise Le Père Noël est une Ordure had been remade until I saw the “based on” credit at the beginning of this abomination, and now I really wish it hadn’t been. Writer-director Nora Ephron has transplanted that viciously hilarious French flick to a sunny mid-nineties Venice Beach and filled it with actors like Steve Martin, Liev Schreiber, Juliette Lewis and Anthony La Paglia, not to mention a distressingly young Adam Sandler. In doing so, she and her co-writing sister Delia have somehow managed to leave in almost all the jokes yet surgically removed every single molecule of humour. On a scientific level it is an astonishing achievement, but from a film-lover’s point of view it is a truly painful experience.

They're all wondering why they don't have anything funny to say.

They’re all wondering why they don’t have anything funny to say.

Most of the original film’s bigger laughs came from the cynicism and black comedy. This effort sees all of that taken out and replaced with a stock Hollywood happy ending which is badly handled and just plain doesn’t work. The nearest Mixed Nuts comes to having a saving grace is Madeline Kahn as Mrs Munchnik, who seems to be the only one with any awareness of how awful this film is turning out to be, and is determined to have as much fun as she can. Her scenes are the only ones that approach entertainment, but everyone else just brings it all back down again.

If you haven’t seen this film, count yourself lucky, then go and get Le Père Noël instead. If you have suffered through this already, I feel your pain. Let us never speak of it again.


  1. theipc · December 20, 2012

    LOL – good one!!!

  2. CMrok93 · December 20, 2012

    Good review Ryan. I remember seeing this movie awhile back and just not laughing one bit. I liked Schreiber though and I think this was his 3rd role where the dude dressed-up in drag. He loves that freaky stuff but it’s okay, because you can do whatever you want when you’re banging Naomi Watts.

    • Ryan McNeely · December 20, 2012

      Hey man, whatever works for him! Seeing him and Adam Sandler getting all flirty together is a sight I could have done without though.
      If you get a chance to see the original French version you should give it a shot

  3. filmhipster · December 20, 2012

    I’ve never seen this, I’m surprised.

    • Ryan McNeely · December 21, 2012

      Shit, I’d never even heard of it until I was just about to watch it!

  4. Morgan R. Lewis · December 22, 2012

    I didn’t think this was all that great, but I didn’t think it was awful either. Could have done without Adam Sandler, though — he was easily the least likable part of the film.

    • Ryan McNeely · December 22, 2012

      I think the fact that I was expecting so much more is what made it such a huge letdown. Sandler was really annoying though

Go ahead, punk. Make my day.

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