In mid-December I got drunk and thought it would be a good idea to watch a movie I haven’t seen before and review it, every day of 2012. These might not be as in-depth of some of my other posts, but if I make it three weeks it’ll be a damn miracle.
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Happy Birthday, Madeline Anna Doherty
Okay, this one is going to be a little different today. It’s my eldest – actually up until three days ago, my only – niece’s first birthday, and I am not partying with her. I would be, of course, except my sister and her family live a few hundred miles and one sea away. Yes, Nameless Reader, I agree; it is terribly selfish of her. And no, the fact that I spent Christmas with Maddie two weeks ago does not make up for it. Although I did get to buy her an awesome pirate ship to play with when she has a bath. I’m not kidding; it’s the coolest thing ever. I’m seriously considering buying another one and switching from showers to baths just so I can keep it for myself. It has a cannon on it and everything!
But I digress. As you may have noticed, I am dedicating today’s 5-Word Movie Review to Maddie. Maybe in about another five years or so she’ll read it and use it to help her decide if she wants to watch Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. (Assuming t’interweb still exists then, and humanity hasn’t been brought to the brink of extinction by the coming zombie apocalypse. Maybe I should get printouts for her, just in case.)
“Uncle Ryan, you know loads and loads about films don’t you?” she’ll say.
“Why yes, I do. It’s very kind of you to notice.” I shall modestly reply.
“Should I watch Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit?”
“Why don’t you have a look at the review I wrote on your first birthday and posted online?”
“What does online mean?”
“Ah yes, I forgot. The internet doesn’t exist anymore, not since the zombie apocalypse. Not to worry though; I printed them all out for you before everything went pear-shaped and we lost the entire world’s repository of funny cat pictures and goatse parodies.”
“What does goatse mean?”
“Ask your mother.”
Yes Maddie, you should definitely watch Curse of the Were-Rabbit. You should watch it right now. It doesn’t even matter that you’re only one, cos you can still wave at the bunnies! All kids films should be this smart, and funny, and sweet, and have bunnies.
Bunnies are awesome.